PRETTYPOWER MOVIE NIGHT: pilot

 

Welcome to the pilot for a new series I'm calling Prettypower Movie Night, this is part of my attempt to branch out and tackle more than just anime, toku and gaming(although 90% of my posts are PreCure based, huh), anyhow first movie is a movie that was meant as a parody of the incessant 'killer ???' movies that were around in the 1970s

the 1978 parody horror movie Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

Anyhow the movie opens with talk about The Birds and an ‘incident’ from 1975, with ‘no one is laughing now’ and then it zooms to a home as a generic housewife is doing the dishes and hears a weird noise as a tomato comes out of the drain and rolls towards her, seemingly killing her and then the intro credits play with a perfectly hammy theme with comedic credits, such as one about a furniture store and this space available, letting us in for knowing that we are in for a silly time

As then the housewife is found dead as some detectives talk about the corpse and tomato juice on her, as then another person drinks tomato juice and dies and then it cuts elsewhere to an old couple talking about it, later it shows police cars arriving at a battle between man and tomato with a helicopter crash which nearly turned fatal as more talk, meaning at least 4 deaths in under 6 minutes, and that nothing hurts the tomatoes, and a weird talk about how they tried to get larger tomatoes and then the set of every low budget war movie ever as they talk about operations with stupid names as another man arrives and more talk about tomato issues and a character with obvious dub-over as he then knocks over a portrait of the Arizona and then more anti tomato gadget talk as it shows some ridiculous background gags and the newest project which was a failure and talk about or issues as we meet new characters for more gags

And then a boat in the open water and people swimming, leading to a kinda obvious jaws parody with 4 more deaths, and then a press talk which mentions the tomato problem and the pr person undermining the issue as a lack of a menace, and a talk about the incident and then that scene

They are investigating the tomato incident, with it ending up at the wrong place, a media company ad it shows a motocross event ruined by a tomato attack with deaths, 2 characters are driving their way to keep this under wraps, the editor in chief tasks Fairchild on the tomato issue, back with the government agents getting attacked by a bunch of tomatoes who then kill them, the president then talks about a plan as it shows stop motion of more victims and then Fairchild meets with other characters as a Superman parody, and a car pool playing this bad love song and then the specialists from earlier are dropped off in the middle of nowhere, where they’d not be of ANY USE WHATSOEVER, as they meet one of the breakout stars, the final specialist(and uncle to the sequel and cartoon mc) whose a bit of a nut job as the disguise expert gets told to disguise as a tomato, cutting to New York, where the surviving government agent meets the guy that the president told him to see, who is basically useless, as the furniture store add on the bottom of the screen as a music number plays and then it shows some random video about a blind traffic cop, later Dixon and the other specialist in the nearby hotel where it shows how much of a nut job he is. And some more antics, with Fairchild trying again to get more info, and evening news involving Dixon and the specialist with Fairchild outside(I’m sorry if I forget names), Fairchild then enters into room 401 and more incidents, with the disguise specialist dressed as a tomato, that morning Dixon finds something out, trying to warn Greta, another of the specialists that a tomato is in her area, it shows a teen and his dog as something happens, leading both to be killed, then some marines on a Mobil map marked, they then show a captured tomato they try to understand. Showing that the killer ones were cherry tomatoes, then Greta is having her steroids as several big tomatoes attack her, before she is crushed by a giant tomato, her body is then found by the insane specialist to inform her of tomatoes in her sector

Meanwhile back with the investigation talk about them not knowing what is going on

And back in New York, for the tomato thing, meaning it was obvious they are useless. With a program to stop the tomatoes, and the ‘ultimate commercial’, back with Dixon it says about how they are everywhere and the word can cause panic. Dixon avoids a tomato while said love song plays

Then at the investigation it shows more issues as it cuts back to San Diego as people begin leaving the tiny war room, with the nut job, Fairchild approaches him and contacts the editor, or so it seems, it seems both talked to the wrong person, and the 2 talk as he heads to bed, Fairchild following, then Richardson tries to kill Dixon, failing and getting some random people, he then gets ready for bed, causing chaos, as Fairchild runs Dixon enters the room, later the the tomato camp mess, back with Dixon we see a random mess in the  camp, and a personal report mention, later firing happens, as the nut job chases the one who shot in a bizzare chase which feels like it was out of some cartoon, the assailant leaves, later the plan was to make a stand out west, not when the end, with bombing New York City, with the unseen president’s old plan, the expert in disguise ends up revealing himself, more talk.

At night we see how empty the streets have got with it ended by yet another musical number from the marines from one who thought himself Elvis. Tanks then roll into the streets for a battle, man V Tomato with dead everywhere, a soldier getting smooshed by a tomato, and to be honest the tomato attack by the army feels like one from a Kaiju show, then a news story which seems to dig in more hard, and how the end of humanity, lawlessness hitting, Dixon then finds some red liquid and follows the trail to a tomato which he runs from in a comedic chase, which ultimately ends with the tomato hearing puberty love and then killing itself(maybe this is where the Indian Mating Call weakness in Mars Attacks comes from, more on that later ), then a car incident involving the nut job sliding on his chest as the chase between an old Chevrolet and a Triumph ends with both in a comedic chase which ends in a stand-off. Richardson reveals his plan, to say how he is ‘in-tune with his tomatoes’ and save the remains of the nation, Dixon taunts him, and a ‘package’ arrives, the guy bringing it is dropped, Dixon asks for him to explain, and the nut job runs his sword through Richardson as Dixon finds a record with Puberty Love, and the plan to play it to kill all tomatoes, a March is done as the base is evacuated, and again another Furniture ad interrupted by a tomato, Dixon tells them his plan, and as the tomatoes roll into the stadium, as the song plays, killing all the tomatoes as the March destroy all remaining tomatoes, the charge even makes me think of the start of Takeshi’s Castle, the tomatoes all get trampled. And with the tomatoes gone, excess one with ‘muffs’ over it, Dixon approaches it with the sheets for Puberty love, killing the final tomato(for now), Fairchild and Dixon then seem to go their own way, until it gets super cheesy romantic with the final musical number of the movie, as it cuts elsewhere for more romantic scenes, and it shows a group of carrots, one says to the others after rising from the ground, "Alright you guys, they’ve gone now." And cue credits

And that was Attack of The Killer Tomatoes, and overall it was a mess, but an enjoyable mess, so anyhow, I’ll see you next time, this is Cure Ranger, signing off.